Funny old world: The week's offbeat news

Published: 08:14 PM, 2 Apr, 2021
Funny old world: The week's offbeat news
Caption: Jill Biden and Major take centre stage.
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The weekly roundup of offbeat stories from around the world:

Jill the flight attendant  

Joe Biden was elected to the White House to bring the world a little peace and quiet. But no one told his wife Jill, nor their dog Major.

The First Lady is an inveterate prankster, once stuffing herself into an overhead locker on Air Force Two when her husband was vice president and then shouting "Boo!" at the person who opened it.

Dr Biden struck again on Air Force One on April 1, disguising herself as a flight attendant called "Jasmine" to hand out ice cream bars to the press corps flying with her husband.

Minutes later she reappeared, removed her wig and shouted "April Fools!"

Reporters admitted they were completely fooled.

Some journalists are worried she might next appear as the couple's Alsatian dog Major, who bit a second White House official this week.

He is also suspected of pooping outside the White House Palm Room on Wednesday.

Let's talk about me...

Conscious that the world could not do without him for another second, former president Donald Trump returned to the spotlight at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida by taking the mic after gatecrashing a wedding reception.

John and Megan Arrigo were thrilled until Trump opened his mouth. Enough about the couple, "Do you miss me yet?" Trump declared.

He then harped on for 20 minutes about his lost election and why he was a much better leader than "Sleepy Joe" Biden before finally remembering the newlyweds.

Toddler nukes world

If you have ever wondered how the world will end, we know now -- with a child playing with a parent's phone when they are trying to work from home.

US Strategic Command, which controls America's massive nuclear arsenal, set red lights flashing when it tweeted what many took to be a cryptic launch code ";l;;gmlxzssaw".

With the Kremlin caught between the fear of impending Armageddon and the hope that someone had mistakenly slipped them the codes, Stratcom admitted they had fallen victim to a toddler with a telephone.

Forced to juggle work and child-care, one of their officials had let his precious work phone fall into his child's hands.

Swiss move goalposts

Nothing like that could happen of course in Switzerland, land of precision, probity and Sepp Blatter where its latest World Cup qualifying game was halted when officials discovered one of the goals was too big -- by a whopping 10cm (4ins).

Kick-off was delayed so they could be replaced. Despite the smaller target the Swiss still beat Lithuania 1-0.

You won't be angry Dad?

The son of a French police chief has some explaining to do after driving his father's car with sirens blazing at three times the speed limit around Clermont-Ferrand, flying over speed bumps in its narrow streets at more than 120kph (75mph).

When the 18-year-old -- who did not have a licence -- was finally caught after a chase he tried to talk his way out by pretending to be his father by flashing his police ID.

Categories : Topics, Oddities

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