Police 'launch investigation' after England's Ashes woes
Rory Burns out first ball as visitors all out for 147 runs
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Queensland Police did not pass up the chance to poke fun at the demoralised England team, tweeting: "Queensland Police are launching an investigation into a group impersonating a Test batting order at the Gabba."
They lost opener Rory Burns to the very first ball, and it hardly got any better for Joe Root's men after that.
The police force had already shown that it was keenly watching the Test match, name-checking several of the Australian team when it provided a "traffic update" in Brisbane, capital of Queensland state.
"We'd be Lyon if we said there'll be nothing but Green lights near the Gabba. Don't say we didn't Warner."
Cummins savours 'dream start'
Cummins, in his first game as Test captain since taking over from Tim Paine, claimed 5-38, while Starc took 2-35 and Hazlewood 2-42 as the English batters failed to adapt to the bounce and movement of a Gabba green top.
Dawid Malan, who scored six, and Root, for a duck, quickly followed as a shell-shocked England slumped to 11-3.
"It was a dream start really -- it wasn't a bad toss to lose and I thought we all bowled really well and did our jobs," Cummins said.
"To keep them to 150 was a tremendous start. I was really proud of how consistent and composed everyone was.
"Personally, it was nice to get a couple of wickets at the end to make it a five-for -- it was just a really good start."
Jos Buttler came out and launched a fightback with a glittering array of attacking shots to put the Australian attack on the back foot for the first time.
However, with the score on 112, Buttler -- who had reached 39 -- feathered a catch to debutant wicketkeeper Alex Carey.
Six runs later, Ollie Pope was caught at deep fine leg for 35 to give Cameron Green his first Test wicket.
Pope said England had failed to adapt to the conditions swiftly enough.
"They bowled very well and the steepness of the bounce you get at the Gabba -- the pitch felt quite soft and I think that tennis-ball bounce probably dragged a few shots that you don't have to play," Pope said.
"It's probably the adjustments you have to make on a day-one Gabba pitch that we didn't make quickly enough."
Pope said it was imperative that England bowled at the same level as their arch-rivals when play resumes on Thursday, the day's action having ended prematurely after heavy rain.
"I think it will quicken up and the nicks will definitely carry so if we put it in the right areas early, hopefully we can make some early inroads," he said.
- Unwanted history -
Earlier Root had taken the brave decision to bat in the bowler-friendly conditions.
Brisbane has been experiencing a wet start to the summer, washing out most of the tourists' scheduled warm-up games.
Having had little chance to become acclimatised to the conditions, England's top order struggled badly with the pace and movement of the Australian attack.
The crowd of just over 30,000 were barely settled in their seats when Starc clean-bowled Burns behind the left-hander's legs with a full, swinging delivery that should have been defended.
England, already missing the rested Jimmy Anderson, made the surprise decision to leave out veteran seamer Stuart Broad.
They instead opted for a seam attack of Woakes, Mark Wood and Ollie Robinson, bolstered by Stokes and left-arm spinner Jack Leach.
"It was a little surprising -- I thought either one of those two would play in every game, if not both of them," Cummins said.
England first innings
R. Burns b Starc 0
H. Hameed c Smith b Cummins 25
D. Malan c Carey b Hazlewood 6
J. Root c Warner b Hazlewood 0
B. Stokes c Labuschagne b Cummins 5
O. Pope c Hazlewood b Green 35
J. Buttler c Carey b Starc 39
C. Woakes c Hazlewood b Cummins 21
O. Robinson c Carey b Cummins 0
M. Wood c Harris b Cummins 8
J. Leach not out 2
Extras (lb5, w1) 6
Total (50.1 overs) 147
Fall: 1-0 (Burns), 2-11 (Malan), 3-11 (Root), 4-29 (Stokes), 5-60 (Hameed), 6-112 (Buttler), 7-118 (Pope), 8-122 (Robinson), 9-144 (Wood), 10-147 (Woakes)
Umpires: Paul Reiffel (AUS), Rod Tucker (AUS)
TV Umpire: Paul Wilson (AUS)
Match Referee: David Boon (AUS)